I wanted to bring together a few, among many, concepts that has been guiding principles in my life of late. They have helped me keep a peaceful and steady march forward, and I think they are important to keep in mind in the minds of my readers, as well... no matter how your life may face. They don't require a lot of talk, so this blog post will be rather short.
1. First and to lead off with the topic of the post subject... you are valid. Your feelings are valid. Your personality is valid. Your thoughts are valid. Your way of doing things is valid. Your life experience that led you to this point is also VERY valid... both the good and the bad. Indeed.. I'll pause mid point here to note there is value in the bad and struggle. I don't know if you are watching Fallout on TV, but there was a part in the season finale for this season that I won't give too much information about... but a character lost their dark side in a change that stripped them of their bad memories, and the person watching had tears in their eyes, knowing they had just lost the person they knew with the change. But, to continue the point, You are valid, even if you are flawed. Indeed, you are valid IN the flaws. You don't have to be perfect to be worthy. You are worthy, even as you are growing. You are valid in your pains, and your pains are valid. None of that changes any of your worth. Indeed, it makes you worthy of a caring heart's response.
2. People can be good and valid and not right for you for a relationship. It is not right or wrong, good or bad, one or the other. You don't have to judge someone as a bad person, just because they are not the kind of person that would work with you. Indeed, if you know what you need and ignore it to get into a connection that ends badly, you are just as much to blame for that. We all want to follow the heart, but the heart can get you into difficult or impossible situations. There are many personality tests out there that will give you an idea of what you need to make you happy. You need to enslave (strong word used for a purpose) your emotions to follow your needs.. either finding someone whose personality naturally works with yours or by agreement on both sides to respect the middle... though I am not sure that the latter actually exists.
3. You need to stand your ground and make your choices to be happy. No one else is going to be sacrificing their wants to make that happen for you all the time, and you should not be expecting others to provide it for you. Your happiness is not their responsibility. Their happiness is. Your happiness is YOUR responsibility. So, that means telling others no or wait or telling others what you want to do, even if it is not convenient for them. If you do not get in this practice, it is very easy to lose yourself along the way. Get in the habit of saying what you want and doing what you need to be happy. That doesn't mean that you cannot sacrifice and make choices to make others happy. You should be doing that, as well. But, you have to MAKE those moments happen that you enjoy, whether it be going for a photo walk in the cold, taking extra time to listen to music or do a puzzle, go shopping on your own, or... well.. making time to please yourself... ha. I'm not that innocent minded. Whatever it is, you have a responsibility to yourself, and you cannot delegate that or blame anyone else for your lack of doing it.
As always, I have more I could say, but that is enough for now. I hope it helps.
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