Forward to Happiness

I grew up a Star Trek fan.  It's one of a few shows that both my father and I watched.  I've watched almost every form the Star Trek universe has taken.  But, Star Trek Next Generation lasted and spawned into Picard, which was also great. In that crew, the captain.. Picard.. had a famous phrase to tell the crew to execute an order.. he'd say... Make it So. Make it so.. not... ask someone else to do it.  Not.. let's hope it happens.  Make it so.. do it your own fckn self.  MAKE it happen.   In my life, I've had disappointment or rejection or failures... EXCEPT when I relied on myself to bring it about.  When it was just me and me, I have very often been successful.  Right now, I'm in the middle of am upswing that began this spring and will continue.. some things are already better.  Others will come.  One job prospect will increase that, but if it doesn't happen another job will bring it about.  But ALL of it began when I g...

First of two blogs I have planned for tonight.  I waited to watch a few Lady Jane Grey episodes.  If you haven't seen it on Amazon Prime, I highly recommend it.  So good. Anyway.. to begin.  Earlier today in a social media share, I used the phrase "successfully single" ... it was saying what would be wrong with someone to be attractive, intelligent, successful and yet single.  I shared saying why must we assume there's something wrong with being successfully single.  It's true on both interpretations of that... successful and single and being successful at being single.  But, I do think it warrants explaining what SINGLE.... is. Single doesn't mean abstinence ... it's not being a monk with no sexual or romantic interests or activities.  It simply means not in a relationship.  Until you get in a relationship, you are...in fact.. single, even as you explore with vigor and the ability to chart your own future.   Florida for the last fe...

 ""Who are YOU?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I–I hardly know, sir, just at present– at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”" Alice in Wonderland  It's a valid point.  We all change.  We change from the struggles we face.  We change from what we learn about others and ourselves.  We change from disappointment and pain.. probably mostly that.  However, just like our skin completely replacing itself and our body maturing, who we are is not who we were or who we'll be. One thing is for sure, though.  We are not who others say we are.  They often have a predetermined box they want to fit us in and will not see us in any other way.  If you try to show them who you've been, they'll just say that was an image you tried to show.  Further, the images of others that want to find fault in ...

I've learned a lot of lessons over my life, but this one might be most important to share to help others.  Don't waste your life chasing things not meant right be. I get it.  It's hard to do.  If you're like me, you put everything of yourself into the things you felt worthy to attempt. You don't want to acknowledge it not working .. in PART because it means you made a mistake in choosing the attempt. But, if you spend all your time chasing or mourning what didn't work, you are losing hours and days you can be happy without them.  Notice I didn't say with someone else.  You have to be happy on your own without them, or you'll be looking to the new person to do that the last didn't, which is not fair to you or the new person. Unfortunately, you can't know if something works or not without trying.  So, you have to keep trying with an open mind at the start but also being objective... not looking for faults just being realistic.. and willing to walk ...

As I was driving over to initiate my background check for my new job, I wrestled with a little anxiety for a while.  I thought  .. what if they reject me?  I don't have any criminal record.  I am not in default of any government debt.  I haven't been fired from a job.  But, my periods of being out of work due to surgery and forced recovery over the last year SERIOUSLY impacted my credit report.  While it is a small blip in a lifetime credit history it IS something they take into consideration.  So, I questioned... what if they reject me?  What if after all this I am turned down and have to tell others I didn't get the job?  What does that say about me?  What does that mean about my future? Then, I realized several truths I've noted before and let the anxiety go. 1.  It says nothing about me or my future that there are mistakes along an otherwise good path.  Some people, including relationship partners, focus on the negativ...

I've noted the quote several times, so this will just be a chorus harmony. "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." It is falsely attributed to Einstein, but who cares who actually said it.  It's true. For most of my life, I have been criticized or condemned for being am independent minded person.  I've often said that TRUTH is the real god, and all deities must bow to it.  I approach the world in a factual and logical fashion like spock from Star Trek.  It is or it isn't.   It is that it is, and it isn't that it isn't.  I'm mature enough to recognize that fiction can also be truth... a false message can have true effect.  However, ultimately, even gods are judged by their participation in human life or absence, thereof. Being this kind of INFJ person can be difficult.  Most love to ascribe to political parties or religious sects, so when I point o...

I've used this labor analogy several times over the years, but it's worth repeating.  When you set out to increase yourself or better yourself, you will be met with an opposing force.  In Serendipity, a character quotes Epictetus saying, "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."  That's generally how it goes, and many will reject you for being so selfish to think about yourself.  But, there will be other more spiritual opposition that you will face. Witches believe in the balance of the spiritual, long before Star Wars invented Jedis.  That's why you always see sacrifice before good in their spells.  Even the very good show Once Upon a Time repeatedly said that magic comes "with a cost" and good things came with negative ones.  It's why witches are so quick to suggest putting away anger rather than using magic to harm someone.  I think there's room for it, if it is more defensive, but that's what they believe,...