Forward to Happiness

I'm going to make this my last post, before I move.  Between tonight and tomorrow, I'll be very busy working and want to try to watch a miniseries tonight, before my Prime membership gets paused.  But, I try to write when inspiration hits, and I am feeling this post from reflections I've noticed over time and is appropriate to the blog and life events. This will not be a political post.  But, I do see one thing that that involves some politicians and other that I want to mention... not even people I particularly always like.  However, it is worth noting, and to do so I have to note how it works for them. I'm not a fan of Biden or Trump.  I've opposed both at different times.  However, one thing we can see with Trump is this... he never quits.  And, one thing we can see about society around him is that he was once persona non grata.. he couldn't even have a social media account, til they figured out that was illegal. Slanderous things were said about hi...

Yes.  I know I already posted today, and I know that I already posted on this subject HERE .  But, it's been developing in my head, and I feel that it is important to post on it, today as well. In just a few days, I will be moving back to Oklahoma, where I spent ten years before coming to Florida and in total maybe another 11-12 years of my life before that in different locations.  It will be good for me to be back there for many reasons... economic, family, foundation, familiarity, and a good reset turning point for my life away from all the stressors that has controlled much of my choices and life for many years.  But, I didn't get the decision to go back there from following unrealistic visions or feeling the need to "stick it out" to prove something to anyone or myself.  I didn't pray for a sign and follow that, either.  I recall exactly when I made the decision.  It was maybe a month ago or more.  I was sitting on my bed and reflecting on the...

We just passed Memorial Day.  I did not post criticism or support, because even though I am a Veteran that joined and served for protecting freedom, much of the use of the military has been using soldiers to promote economic or political goals or to enrich political or weapons groups.  So, I don't have a position AGAINST soldiers, and especially soldiers that served in older wars I have great respect for the freedoms that they did defend.  HOWEVER, we don't always see that goal in the mindset of those that are in power ordering them in recent decades. Indeed, freedom has taken a back seat to partisanship and media crusades in recent years, and this is true on both sides of the major party spectrum.  It's one reason that I don't align myself with either party.  It's not a battle for freedom versus control.  Both have groups they want to have freedom and groups that they want to control.  Me, being in the middle along with many independents, we get to ex...

 Back when I did dating apps and answered questions on some of them, I remember one question that I always hated answering.  It asked if I was carefree or intense.  Now, I have always WANTED to be more carefree, and it was true that I have learned, especially lately, to let things go and accept life and have diverse interests and such.  And, I would often check mark the box for carefree, because I was just imagining it from the other side with someone thinking ... oh great an intense person that will wear me out, because that has been the reaction I have got from some more carefree individuals.   However, I am intense.  If you really think about it, intense is very similar to intend, and it wouldn't surprise me to be the same word origin.  When I do ... well anything... it is because I intend to do it.  And what I intend to do, I usually do it passionately.  Carefree to me seems non-commital and has an air of pretense.  I'm not knoc...

Last year, I began to consider something and have seen a few meme's questioning it, as well.  Over the last week, I've also been considering something new from time to time that expands the question and gives it a little foundation, as well.  The question begins with a query in memes that asks why the extrovert world feels that it is the introverts that are broken and needing correction, instead of the other way around.  Why is it that the introvert must speak up more and not the extroverts be more quiet?  This is not going to be a slam on extroverts but a harmony, so stick with me.  However, it is a worthy question, when you consider all of the things we gain in the world by slowing down and using observation and reflection skills over boldly going forth. Over the last week, I considered the various types of media that are out there and the creators and audience of that media.  One the one side, you have actors and movies.  They are, by nature, extrov...

 Flicker... The candle wanes down down down I drew comfort from the light, but now it is ending What will I do without its light? Flicker... I walk down a path lit by its rays What will become of me, when the candle is no more Will I lose my way in the dark? Flicker... I watch as the candle takes its last gasp  Takes its last courageous breath, and then no more. And, at first all I can see is nothing. Flicker... Then, eyes adjust to a mystical miracle All about me I see celestial lighting, guiding symmetry Stars above and moonlit echo from below. Flicker... It has been here all the time Every night I walked without, blinded by candlelight And, now, I finally can see.    

 The other day, I passed a car painted like the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard.  I was going to snap a picture of it and post, saying something like.... A great car from a great show that was hardly as controversial as it became decades later.  I was going to say something like... when we watched the show, it was just kids of a moonshine running guy that were out there having fun and avoiding the law with a very hot actress.  Then, my mind started critiquing my own narrative.. ..why DID they have a confederate flag on the car?  Was it supposed to be good to be breaking the law?  And, when this guy painted his car with that flag, was it just for the show or more? I know... the confederacy had good things in it that the North rarely did.  In an age of industrial growth, they were focused on things like family, civility, and tradition... but they did also OWN people.  There was definitely mistreatment of slaves, women, and even children.  Not...

My omage to the first poem that got me interested in poetry in high school literature and expanded me outward into all the arts in interest....She Walks in Beauty, Like the Night.  Mine will be more personal and unique, but I think I want to write a book of poetry... which is the least profitable thing that I could chose to do, so I guess that makes me an artist.  Ha.  Anyway... to begin.. I Walk In Beauty, Like The Night   I walk in beauty, like the night, And in the darkness find my light. No home in bright, less cure for shine. But the inward glare does find more Than, ere I was even looking for. And, treasures await a heart fit to explore. Nature stirs to notice a change, A break in the story long programmed, An echo of  heart beginning to wake, A depth of breath so long withheld. And, life pauses to absorb the meld, Of true seed planted where tradition failed. A sigh, a laugh, a cry, a stare. Wisdom born, a soul set free, A love that's free, a mind that hea...

There is a reason why fiction sections and bookstores are much bigger than biographies. And there is a reason why people prefer movies and TV shows over documentaries. We have a fascination with fiction. And fiction is the handiwork of a narcissist. With fiction they can control someone even after they no longer have them by controlling the perception of others about them. Fourteen years ago, I escaped a very toxic relationship that had made me extremely stressed out and mentally depressed for over a decade. I chose it for my own mental peace, but my ex would not honor my desire for peace.  And, I would spend the next decade or more dealing with one thing after another where she was trying to inflict suffering on me for having the gall to leave her.  But, who cares what one person thinks about you? What damage can they do? A lot as it turns out. When you are one person and I believe especially if you are a man, and you are not in a relationship the future women that you've com...

My philosophy.. especially lately.. is to always try things and see if it responds back to you.  I don't just mean romantically or friendship but location and situation. You've heard me blog about the principle of resonance and how you can ring and ring but if something is not like you it won't ring any bells in them, too.  But, the tricky thing about resonance, though, is you cannot know if it is there til you try for it.  However, the lesson that I've always been slow at learning is if there is not resonance, you need to stop sitting there banging your bell, expecting something to happen.  I'm getting better at it, but it took almost 4 years of almost monthly crisis for me to realize that Florida was not working for me. I know that I wanted to be here with my child, but I would end up having to work so hard to try to meet the expenses that you find in Florida that I was always working, even on weekends when I often had them.  And, I was always struggling to be...

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" Luke 12:25-26 This is not going to be a religious post, but that verse seemed worthy to start. People often ask me why it is that I don't fear tornadoes in Oklahoma.  Indeed, I used to go out when they were near and try to see them from the porch or balcony, unless it was particularly windy and clouded.  Why didn't I fear?  I used to.  I used to get very frenzied in my younger years.  However, over the last few decades, I learned a few things.  I used to say that if a tornado was going to hit you, it will.. whether you are afraid of it or not.  Fear in that case was rather useless.  You can take precautions, if you like.  But, again.... fear is often paralyzing in your precautionary plans, too.  In order to respond, you have to get over the fear and to your rational mind.  Fear... is not a v...

 I thought it would be a good segwey into my next point to begin by stating the laws of motion.. No, I don't mean the auto accident caused by them into the back of my car...ha.  I mean the scientific laws of motion. 1.  "A body remains at rest, or in motion at a constant speed in a straight line, except insofar as it is acted upon by a force." Or more simply put... a body at rest remains at rest, and a body in motion remains in motion, until it is acted upon by another force. There is a direct reflection of this in how life happens, too.  We can get mired down in where we are and what we are doing, even if it is in a bad situation, and we will just keep repeating the same process over and over until a force rises up within us to say... I've had enough with this and do something to act upon the process. I was reflecting today about my time in Florida.  Whew... what an experience... not really sure it's one that I will be lamenting losing, any time soon.  But...

I've noted this at times over the many years in blog posts, but it is worth noting again as I go through the educational process, again. I'm a pretty independent minded person... objective but not judgmental and more self critical than outward.  That tends to put me on the edge of people's comfort zone... on most sides and opinions.  It's not a new reality, and I've come to be ok with it.  In fact, sometimes I like challenging the status quo, just because it needs challenging to promote discussion and defend the condemned, way more often than a single prostitute being stoned... and I don't just draw in the dirt when I do it.  That tends to give me lots of alone time for self evaluation and an independent foundation.  But, it also gives me freedom and peace and liberty to delve into necessary self criticism that many others don't have. Having comes with a fear of losing.  When you have something or someone, you spend a lot of time focused on being good enoug...

 Single.. single.. single.. That was the embarrassing shout of the carnival operator at the ferris wheel in Never Been Kissed, where Drew Barrymore was pretending to be a high school student for a story.  I think she asked him not to say it that way, because it embarrassed her. Isn't that us?  We feel embarrassed to be single.  In fact, if you find a "singles" group out there in FB or otherwise, it is probably intended to CHANGE that status.  I remember when I was in one of those groups and posted the idea that being single was ok all by itself and that you could stay happy single, I was attacked by the group leaders and others that demanded that you MUST be LOOKING FOR SOMEONE. There is a funny movie that I should watch again called The Lobster starring Colin Ferrell.  In that movie, you had to find someone to mate with or you would be transformed into an animal of your choice.  In one scene the star says that a dog that he has was his brother that di...

Reason has rarely failed me.  Emotional pursuits.. often.  It sucks being an INFJ, because I have to try to balance those, but as I look back over my life I find that the worst struggles that I faced came as a result of following some emotional or hopeful pursuit.  I don't just mean romance, but there have been a lot of times that I did something to please someone or out of hope that it would turn into something great.  It almost never did.   I remember one time trying to sell life insurance for a month.  I spent an entire month going door to door to contacts and sold.. nothing.. made ... nothing.. for a month.  There has also been multiple internet or web or writing attempts to make money that resulted in very little.  I do appreciate the fact that I kept trying and learning, but the lesson learned after a life of following those pursuits and a life of using reason to guide my path shows me that I have better results with reason. Indeed.. fr...

I've never been a sprinter... part of being short and a little overweight.  It's part of how I got the bully nickname of 'thunder thighs" among others.  However, I had endurance, so I would run lond distance runs in track at times.  Do they even have track, anymore?  I don't recall hearing about it as my kids grew up.  And, if I tried to sprint, I might just hurt myself or pass out.  But, I learned that if I slowed down into a slower pace, I could go longer distance without feeling overwhelmed.  I'd apply this in running 5K runs, as well. In all those runs, most would take off in a sprint, but many would burn out and be passed by me, later. The same can be applied to life, even though I forget it, often.  Most often, I run my life with intensity, driven to overcome immediate problems with immediate solutions.  When I can't see the solution in my life, I feel it is a failure.  However, most solutions that are long term take time to do....

Why do we have an assumption that "good" is pleasant?  Why do we define a good day or a good year or such as something where everything goes our way?  We rightly are aware of those that would just use us for themselves and seek liberty from the control of others to be able to live our own lives, but as a society we have for thousands of years defined the very definition of good to be based upon our own desired outcomes.  I have come to realize over the last years, especially, that much of what we decide is evil is either for our own good or is good, itself, for the changes and growth that it creates within us.  Even when something is bad and sad in truth, it leaves us changed and matured for the better, often.  But, since traditions are passed down from generation to generation, the story is written or told to be that good is what we desire, and evil is what we do not, even if that is not necessarily objectively the story that has happened or even what prior gen...

 I saw a post online about an old MS Dos game, and I thought I'd go ahead and give my perspective of the growth of games from when I was young to now. When I was growing up, we didn't have a computer.. no one did, except maybe scientists or NASA or some universities.  Then, they started coming out, but they were very expensive.  I remember that I bought a desktop that was very slow, and 2 megabytes of Ram would cost you a hundred dollars and you connected by a very loud and very slow modem that you connected by calling a number... preferably local to avoid long distance charges.  But... that's computers.  I'm getting ahead of myself... will come back to that. Games were different when I was growing up.  Most were not on an electronic device.  You can the Rubic's Cube, Rubic's Snake, etch a sketch, and so on.  There were electronic ones, of course... but they were not on a computer.  There was a red one that looked almost like a phone, and you...

We all know that famous line from The Hobbit where Bilbo announced, "I'm going on an adventure."  Adventures are rarely defined and always scary.  You don't know what lies ahead, and you will face a change in your surroundings and company along the way, but ... even more... you will find a change in yourself will accompany it. When I first went into Basic training for the Army, I thought it was pure torture.  The first few weeks are called "hell weeks" for a reason.  The whole purpose of those weeks and basic, itself, was to break you down so that you could be built back up.  I fully believe that today's basic is probably a different experience than it was when I went through it.  We endured a lot back then in our lives that would never be allowed in our current day, and that is a shame to a degree.  When your supports are gone, and it is just you versus failure, You discover parts of yourself that you never knew existed.  I remember the pride tha...