Monday, June 17, 2024

Phoenix

Resisting the urge to angrily blast my ex for what she's done, I'll do a quick synopsis of facts only and then change to a more healthy use of that anger both in blogs and my life.

Synopsis: my ex, diagnosed with Biopolar Manic Depressive Mania mixed with some Schizophrenia paranoid delusions after writing all over herself and the walls and talking gibberish back in 2006 and has lost primary custody of her children in the court for it in the past, has... after my innocence of letting her have primary custody in 2020, defied court custody by blocking my custody time and berated me to my children for months to turn them away from me to the point that on father's day weekend I learned I no longer have any contact  ..one day after my child turned 18, so I can't sue.  That's not me attacking her.  That's simply me recounting history she'd rather not have said.  Needless to say, definitely made the right choice leaving her in 14 years ago and moving away from her this year.

Which leads me to my next point... what do you do when you do everything you can for others and have them burn you and abandon you.  You stoke the fire and burn all the misery and depression away, setting fire to the rain, and use the energy from the flames to power your rebirth.  Like the Phoenix, we don't disappear when we burn.  We transform.

An often mis-sourced quote is good here... "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."

That's attributed by many to ancient Socrates but in reality is a more recent Socrates.  Regardless, it's correct.  It's also my plan.  I'm going to take all the anger from being misused and attacked, even after being attacked weeks after moving away from my ex...over 1000 miles away from my blocked ex thar attacked me through my child's phone.. and use that energy to burn down not only my past pains but past fallacies and illusions to take a more logical and factual foundation to a future I know will exist,  because I will build it myself.

And, once that's done, those thar are no longer in my circle of friends or those that did not make an effort towards me when I was down will get no part in the .. bread that's baked to alude to the Red Hen book or success that will follow.  I am a Phoenix in ashes, and I am about to be reborn.

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