Off Script

My engagement and relationship is over.  I will do one paragraph on it and then move forward (in writing.. my heart will take time to recover).  There is a line in the movie You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan's character says.. "People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened."  This was one of those things for me, and even though I understand and adapt to change (I've had a lot of experience doing that), it will involve a period of re-centering, focus on my positives, and rebirth.  I do not wish her any ill will.  I hope for us both to heal, together, as friends.  The rest of this post will deal with things I've learned from life that relate to change.

Today, my Facebook came up with a reminder of ten years ago and showed a picture of my kids and me.  I do not have the close relationship with them that I did at that time, now.  So, that was depressing.  That disappointment is one of many that I have had over my life, where things did not go as I planned them to go.  Over time, I have got quite skilled at recovery from disappointment or being able to set it aside to keep moving forward.  There is a song about moving on that I  may include in a playlist, shortly, that deals with change in this regard, as well.  There isn't always an easy or sweet outcome to our adventures.  It doesn't detract from the glory of the adventure.  I used to always say that the outcome has nothing to do with the attempt.  If you stay hidden behind walls, you never risk anything and never grow.  That is the worse outcome.  I heard a quote in a song, earlier, that said the amount of the pain is often related to the amount of the love that you put into it.  That has been true for many of my disappointments, over life.  However, I definitely would not have not experienced those moments with my kids and more.  They are some of my highest moments, even if they no longer exist.

I think that in order to operate in our lives, we have to create a script of sorts.  A line requires two points.  We have the first point of where we are.  Then, we say.. this looks like a good place to go.  So, we write a script of how our lives will play out.  It rarely goes according to the script.  And, often, the whole chapter must be concluded to move on to the next part of the story.  Change.. happens.  Our definition of finding happiness, therefore, must not rely upon a specific outcome or a destination but in the moments of joy we find along the journey....  before the script changes.

So, this blog is simply to say that.  Life doesn't have a habit of following our scripts.  It changes, but there can be joys in the sub plots and the theme changes.  To have a happy story is less about getting what you desire and more about enjoying the moments.  Then, when things change, you simply say.. plot twist.  Ok... what's next?