In a world that seems increasingly divided and judgmental, I am going to do a post that counters that and counters how I have very often in my life felt that things should be approached. It is positive, but it is also dark... because so very often those of the "light" have been the ones that most often violates it. You will understand as the blog develops.
Today, I was reflecting on how so very often my perception of someone is very accurate, because I look in their eyes and watch their behavior and seek to understand their personality.... not just their appearance or a temporary or hormonal reaction. Then, I considered someone who I had very recently turned out much different than I thought that it would be and saw a side of them that I had not seen. I do not intend to go into details of any of that, other than to say that while there was new things that I saw and experienced ... upon my reflection... the things that I initially saw in them remained and remains true. I do not say that to change the outcome. There are still things that I feel creates an unsteady and likely unsustainable foundation. But.. and this is the point.. one does not negate the other. She can have many good qualities AND things that cause problems. The outcome with me does not detract the quality items that exist in them.
Then, I began to extend that to others with which I have had conflicts or hurt me at different times in my life. Indeed, some of those I have already worked to re-establish a connection. Others, I do not intend to ever do so, but I have made peace with my past with them to move forward. Yet, even those that have done the most damage or have the most toxic conditions.. if I am honest.. do have good qualities, as well. Again, they can have those good qualities AND the negative or harmful ones. Again, none of this is meant to say there needs necessarily be forgiveness or reconciliation, especially for those that are unrepentant or continue in the harm. My own peace can be all that comes out of this concept for them, but it is still valuable... not because they deserve it and not to make myself feel better but simply and objectively being true about how humans are not one dimensional beings. I have good qualities, but I have also made mistakes. I CURRENTLY have flaws or personality habits that do not work with all kinds of people. Yet, that does not take away from my value, either.
So, this "dark" truth is simply that we all have a dark side, and others do as well. Personally, I like a good dark side, at times. So, as you reflect on your past or others or yourself, do not CONCLUDE anything like someone being good or bad, as a whole. Do not conclude anything at all, because once it is concluded it is over. Instead, accept change in others and yourself, and see the good in all things, even as you continue to make beneficial choices for your future, as well.
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